Shepherding Our Sons

New Blog Coming Soon

2009-12-17T10:39:00.001-08:00

My new blog's launch date is Monday, January 4. I'm calling it, Renovate Your Life.

Here is the link (You won't be able to access it until January 4th).

Have a very merry and blessed Christmas and may God richly bless you in 2010.

In Christ,
Dale

Fathers, Egos, and Youth Sports

2009-02-04T04:29:00.000-08:00

by Mark Brandenburg at Christian Fathers.com

It is incredible to experience the hope and fear that occurs when your child steps up to the plate. While we say we’re satisfied with whatever happens when our child performs, we don’t always tell the truth. We like to see our kids excel. And when they don’t, it reflects on us. But we must be careful in our reactions to our child’s performance, because they intuitively know how we feel about them. And in a country in which 70% of all kids quit their sport by age 13, and never play it again (National Alliance for Youth Sports), we must take great precaution when leading them into the world of organized sports. Here are some guidelines for parents:

Click here to read the guidelines.

10 Ideas on How to Be Your Little Man's Dad

2009-02-02T13:34:00.000-08:00

by Dan Bolin at Family Life.com

Boys need real dads, not just fathers to put food on the table, set curfews, and make sons clean the garage. Real dads play catch, lead hikes in the woods, tell stories at bedtime, wrestle on the living room carpet.

Real dads shoot their sons like arrows to impact the next generation. It is tough to be a real dad. The price to become one must be paid in time and commitment. Our world is short of both; there are demands and distractions that call us away from the things that matter most.

Life is a never-ending series of changes and dads must listen to the call of opportunity. They must test their skills against greater challenges, but they must test their hearts against the worth of their sons.

Click here to read the whole article.

Dad...I'm watching you

2009-02-02T13:24:00.001-08:00

HT - All Pro Dad.com

Intentional Parenting

2009-01-15T11:13:00.000-08:00

from The Old Schoolhouse Magazine

When it comes to parenting, do you just deal with things as they come your way or are you planning and creating opportunities to teach your child what's important to you?

I found a neat chart on the Intentional Parents website that demonstrates the difference. While sometimes it's easy to slip into survival mode or get caught up in what everyone else is doing, an intentional parent recognizes the importance of planning and creating teachable moments.

Want your child to learn about serving others? Don't wait for your support group or church to schedule an event. Find ways to serve others together.

Want them to exercise more and take better care of themselves? Don't wait for them to "feel like it." Talk about why it's important to take care of our bodies and find fun ways to exercise together.

Want them to be responsible with their money? Don't just hope they'll figure it out when they're older. Start teaching them biblical financial principles at a young age and encourage them as they begin to have some of their own money.

Whatever God is laying on your heart that you need to work on with your kids, be intentional about it.

Enjoy every minute!
THM Editor

A Very Dedicated Dad

2009-01-15T11:05:00.001-08:00

ht - All Pro Dad.com

Great Bible Story Book Series for Your Kids

2008-11-19T06:31:00.000-08:00

Trying to find a Bible story book that you can read to your young children is often a challenge. Some aren't much more than "Jesus loves you" messages - page after page - with a few baby cherub pictures thrown in. I guess such Bibles have their place. Then there's a variety of other versions that add value in different ways. And, of course, there's no beating reading a regular version of the Bible to your child. But my experience is that a good children's Bible story book supplements a straight reading of the Bible in very helpful ways.

A few years ago I came across a set of Bible stories that I have read to my children ever since. These stories come in a Ten Volume set, entitled, The Bible Story by Arthur Maxwell. You can learn more about the book and the author by clicking here.

The series covers the entire Bible. No story, (at least that I have yet observed) has been left out. Because the purpose of God's Word is not always to give us every detail of a person's life (example: Jesus' childhood), the author respectfully (and I think fairly faithfully) "speculates" about such things. He never makes up things that a Bible character said or did. And if he's just exercising a little imaginative wonder, he clearly communicates that.

The pictures are fantastic. Very colorful. My kids love the pictures as well as the stories. We bounce back and forth between an Old Testament volume and then a New Testament volume.

One of the things I like most about the series is that it was written in the 1950s. I know that there is no golden era of the Christian faith (though the Puritans come in at the top for me). However, I really like the fact that this is not yet another children's book trying more to be "relevant" to the child than faithful to the text. Who needs that? The author gives a faithful rendering of the story (with bits and pieces of the actual biblical text interspersed throughout the story) in a winsome way that gives my children a real love for the stories and a deep desire to hear them again and again. You just can't beat that.

Here's the link again to the website that sells this series. I wasn't able to find it at Christian Book.com. I didn't check Amazon.

The Bible Story
More than four hundred stories in ten volumes covering the entire Bible from Genesis to Revelation
by Arthur S. Maxwell

I would encourage you to buy this series at once and begin reading the stories to your children as soon as they arrive. You won't regret it. It's an impacting and fun way to shepherd your children. And as I said earlier, you just can't beat that.

Blessings,
Dale

A Father's Written Legacy

2008-11-18T10:55:00.001-08:00

by Ken Canfield at All Pro Dad

One question that gnaws at the gut of all fathers is this, "How can I leave a legacy for my kids?"

The written word is powerful. Certainly, it's important to speak words of blessing and encouragement to our sons and daughters, but writing has the potential to last much longer since words can be saved and read over and over again. The written word has power to shape and encourage our children and build a lasting family legacy. Short notes, journal entries, letters and even e-mails can be great tools to keep in touch and affirm our children.

Click here to read the whole article.

Engaging Your Children's Hearts: Campfire Joys

2008-11-18T10:46:00.000-08:00

by Timothy Palla at Crosswalk.com

Ever since the time my children were quite young we have found pleasure in our autumn, family campfires. We have a rock fire ring in a quaint setting of the back yard where we can observe the dancing flames in privacy and comfort. We’ll sit on logs, chairs, wool blankets, or even the grass. Sometimes the children make S’mores or roast marshmallows or sometimes they just sit back and indulge in the ambience. It is relaxing just to sit and watch the sparks soar upward into the vast dark space and listen to the crackling flames.

The soft glow of firelight in each other’s faces has a way of making everyone appear softer, gentler. Regardless of how chaotic the day has been, there is something predictable about the way it will end up when we sit around those burning logs and glowing embers. Times like this God begins to stir the soul and open up doors of conversation that may have warped shut during the hectic course of the day.

Click here to read the whole article.

Effective Discipleship in the Home

2008-11-12T06:29:00.000-08:00

by Timothy Palla at CrossWalk.com

Effective discipleship comes down to a few simple principles that can be copied by anyone:
1. Those that are with you are your best students. That's why God gave your children to you and not another set of parents.
2. Use plenty of real-life situations to learn about your students and teach them godly principles.
3. Disciple with God's ultimate calling in mind -- whether your students know it or not.
4. Remember that complete training involves seeing, hearing, and experiencing -- in love. Jesus said in Luke 6:40 "A pupil... after he has been fully trained, will be like his teacher."

Click here to read the whole article.

The Adventure of Raising Boys

2008-11-07T07:58:00.000-08:00

(I think this woman has been following around our family.)

by Paula Moldenhauer at Home Educator's Family Times newsletter

I have three boys. Active boys. They’re smart enough and I’m glimpsing some musical talent, but they aren’t the studious, musical type. They’re the rambunctious, ball throwing, body banging, wrestling type.

I blame their father. After all, before the boys even crawled he would pretend they could knock him down. He’d take their little hands, form a fist, and help them hit him. Then he’d crash to the floor, making all kinds of male grunting sounds, and our babies would belly laugh. As soon as they were mobile the wrestling began—with Jerry letting our kids win, of course. It wasn’t long until my husband had four children climbing all over him. (Yes, even my daughter was tricked into thinking this was fun, though at least she outgrew it.) I’d watch their antics, thinking how great it was that my children had such wonderful experiences with their dad.

Click here to read the whole article.

Let's End Adolescence

2008-11-07T06:28:00.000-08:00

I have weighed in on the following subject before, but it's interesting to hear a politician comment on the need to move children into adulthood more quickly. (You can click here and here to read those previous posts.)

Newt Gingrich reveals that our culture of extended adolescence (or adolescence at all) has been a social experiment that has failed miserably. He believes, therefore, that it's time to put an end to it.

An excerpt...

It's time to declare the end of adolescence. As a social institution, it's been a failure. The proof is all around us: 19% of eighth graders, 36% of tenth graders, and 47% of twelfth graders say they have used illegal drugs, according to a study by the National Institute on Drug Abuse and the University of Michigan. One of every four girls has a sexually transmitted disease, suggests a recent study for the Centers for Disease Control. A methamphetamine epidemic among the young is destroying lives, families, and communities. And American students are learning at a frighteningly slower rate than Chinese and Indian students.

The solution is dramatic and unavoidable: We have to end adolescence as a social experiment. We tried it. It failed. It's time to move on. Returning to an earlier, more successful model of children rapidly assuming the roles and responsibilities of adults would yield enormous benefit to society.

Click here to read the whole article and watch a video with Gingrich.

ht - Bill Johnson

How are you doing as a dad?

2008-11-07T04:11:00.001-08:00

Find out how you're doing by having your kids fill out the quiz linked below. Here's some info about the quiz (from All Pro Dad)...

Below is a free interactive quiz for your children to take to assess your current fatherhood game plan. We recommend each of your kids ages 8 and up take this survey alone with you in a nearby room should they have any questions. Tell your kids to be honest and assure them that you won’t get upset should they not answer the questions the way you think they should. When your kids have submitted their quiz, it will be scored and suggestions will be given on some possible areas you might be able to improve on. Have your kids print out the score page. Use your score page to talk to each of your children about areas you may not be as strong in and how you can change that.

Click here to go to the quiz.

Quick and powerful prayers for our children

2008-10-30T03:58:00.000-07:00

from Pray Magazine

by Letitia Suk

My need for prayer jumped off the charts when I became a mom. Sleeping dilemmas, separation issues, sickness, school stuff, and other kids' influence—I needed serious help. As the size of our family grew and my desperation for God's help increased, He taught me how to pray on the go. More than any book or expert advice, I have found prayer to be my most powerful parenting tool.

Click here for some great tips on how to pray for your children.

Six Keys to Good Fathering

2008-10-24T07:53:00.000-07:00

Dr. John King at CrossWalk.com

God created you, a man, first, because He wanted to establish a divine order - you in close relationship with Him, prepared and equipped to take care of the family He has given you. Christ is Prophet, Priest, and King to the Church. A father is the same thing to his family.

Click here to read the whole article and learn the six keys to good fathering.

Parenting with a Diligent Hand

2008-10-21T09:22:00.001-07:00

by Dr. S. M. Davis at CrossWalk.com

Here's an excerpt from Part 1...

It’s tempting to take the easy way out and be slack in our parenting. However, we need to realize that we’re not talking about some insignificant task here. We’re talking about molding and shaping our children and nurturing their eternal souls. It is literally one of the highest callings on earth.

The slack hand results in poverty. However, when we approach our parenting with a diligent hand, we can expect to see the beautiful riches of happy, godly children in our homes.

Click here to read the whole article (very good). And click here to read Part 2 of Parenting with a Diligent Hand.

Are we raising "Generation Duh"?

2008-10-21T09:11:00.001-07:00

by Jeff Myers at Pass The Baton

Mark Bauerlein's disturbing book The Dumbest Generation (Tarcher/Penguin 2008) makes the case that growing wealth and technological advancement have stunted the intellectual growth of America's youth.
Here's his summary from page 16 (with my emphases):

Click here to read the findings.

Choose This Day

2008-10-20T12:09:00.001-07:00

Joshua 24:14-15

"Now fear the Lord and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your forefathers worshiped beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. [15] But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord."

James 4:4

You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.

The road of life is filled with many choices:

Whom will I marry?
Where will I live?
What will I do for a living?
How will I raise my children?
Who will educate my children?
Will I believe in God? And if I do, is there more to it than simply believing he exists?
What will be the standard of my moral conduct?

Today’s Scripture highlights the most important choices we must make. And, as the 1970’s rock group, “Rush,” observed, “If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.”

In the preceding verses of Joshua 24, Joshua took the children on an historical reconnaissance in order to remind them of who God is and what God had done for them in the past. Implicit in this was the covenant that God had made with Israel and how they could, therefore, also look to the future fulfillments of God’s promises…IF.

When God made covenant with Israel, it included blessings and curses. Obedience, faithfulness, and loyalty would be rewarded with divine blessing beyond their wildest imaginations. Disobedience, unfaithfulness, and treason, on the other hand, would result in God’s curses. It seems so obvious as to which should be preferred.

And so, after laying out the history of God’s love for his people, Joshua presented the people with a choice. He told them to serve God only and to throw away the idols of their past. Whom would they serve – the gods of their ancestors or the living God? Joshua answered as the covenant head of his home by declaring publicly, “…as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

It is interesting, and quite telling, to see how this theme of choosing between the Living God and the gods of this age – between covenant-faithfulness and spiritual adultery – is repeated over and over again in God’s Word. The fact is, we will all bow before something or someone, simply by the living of our lives. Who will be the object of our worship is the choice ever before us.

James lays out the choice before us with crystal clarity. He says that friendship with the world is hatred toward God. What exactly dos he mean here? Well, he’s not talking about loving people and desiring to minister to them. Instead, he has in mind what Paul had in mind in Romans 12:2 – love for and conformity to the sinful, fallen, disobedient patterns of this world, this present age of man and its ruler, this kingdom of darkness (as Paul puts in Colossians 1).

James follows by saying that “anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world [in the way described in the previous paragraph] becomes an enemy of God.” James is essentially putting before God’s covenant people in the New Testament the same choice that Joshua put before God’s covenant people in the Old Testament: Who will they bow their knees to: the gods beyond the River, the gods of the Amorites, the state, secular worldviews, modern American materialism, Hugh Hefner’s Playboy hedonism, the falsehood of neutrality in education propagated by secular humanists, the superficial entertainment mentality of much worship in today’s churches, selling out the gospel (compromise?? Embarrassment??) by watering down the message, and on and on and on?

James calls people who do this “adulterous.” They have left their first love to cozy up to the gods of the Amorites and the gods of Egypt.

People cry out for their free will, their rights, and their autonomy. God gives them that option, but not with impunity. There are consequences to foolish choices. This seems to be so patently obvious, that it needs no examples. People may choose Baal or Molech or Ra or the god of this age if they so choose. They can exercise their moral choice to their heart’s delight. They can revel in their “free will.” But the wrath of God will be leveled against all such unrighteousness and ungodliness as a manifestation of the curse.

This curse can come in countless ways. After all, its dispenser is an infinite Being. A corrupt culture, pagan children, radical illiteracy, increased levels of crime, escalating godlessness in the public square, countless babies born to unwed mothers and into extreme poverty, babies who never make it outside the womb, drugs, violence, sexual and monetary hedonism, the worship of self (even in…or especially in the church), etc. Don’t misunderstand me: God is not going to curse us for these things. These things are the curse.

Had God’s covenant people not spent the last 100 years committing spiritual adultery with the temptress of the age, we might not be experiencing all that we are.

By God’s grace, however, we learn that God’s people are always being called back to covenant faithfulness – to throw away all the other gods of our past and love, obey, worship, and serve the one true God… and him only. Each and every day that we are granted another day to live, we are given another opportunity for repentance and covenant-faithfulness. And like all covenants, it starts with an individual and his family.

So choose this day whom you and your household will serve. There’s only one right answer.

Stand Firm,
Dale

Where Are Your Kids on the Lazy Meter?

2008-10-20T11:59:00.000-07:00

taken from CrossWalk.com

by Jenefer Igarashi

As parents, it is hard for us to see our kids unhappy, but we are unwise if we let this dictate how we raise them. A trait that I see too often in parents is they underestimate how much their children are capable of doing in terms of work (cleaning their rooms, doing dishes, scrubbing toilets, making beds, cleaning out cupboards, taking care of animals, etc). They imagine that they see “the strain in their little one’s face” and they “just know little Hannah could not manage any more,” and so they clean up the toys for her. It always makes me cringe, because it is obvious that the kids are learning a lesson on how to get somebody else to do stuff that they don’t feel like doing. Parents also seem to overestimate their child’s virtue: “My child would never steal, lie, treat other children badly, look at pornography, act out inappropriately, etc.” But that is another subject for another day.

Click here to read the whole article.

Free Online Sources for Teaching Manners

2008-10-15T07:34:00.000-07:00

from The Teaching Home Email Newsletter

Judi, The Manners Lady

Judi Vankevich, The Manners Lady, offers a variety of resources to teach important life principles and good manners in a fun way on her website www.TheMannersClub.com.

• The Family Pledge Download and print this one-page reminder of respectful attitudes, words, and actions.
Download the Sports Pledge.
• The Manners Club Free online club. Churches and homeschool groups can run The Manners Club as a VBS or a unit study!Judi also presents programs and speaks to groups about manners.
• “It's Fun To Have Good Manners!”Award-winning CD with 16 songs for children. Listen to all the songs online.
• “Say Hello to All the World!”Learn to say hello in 52 languages!

The Emily Post Institute Website

A large, easy-to-use website for help in teaching children manners.

• For Toddlers 3-5Emily's
Magic Words in American Sign Language, plus printable ASL Flash Cards.

Emily's Sharing and Caring Words in American Sign Language, plus printable ASL Flash Cards.

• Table Manners for the 4-7 Year Old -
What you can expect.

• For Kids 4-12Printable Tip Cards for Table Manners, plus Everyday Manners

Printable Placemat for Learning How to Set the Table

• Thank-You Notes -
How to Write a Thank-you Note -
Getting Your Kids To Write Thank-You Notes -
Printable Thank-you Notes
• For Kids 8-12
Printable Tip Cards for Table Manners, Conversations, and Greetings.

Helping Children with Manners

More details on teaching children manners.

Rebels Wth A Cause

2008-10-15T06:37:00.000-07:00

from Crosswalk.com

Rebels for Christ: Harris Twins Challenge Teens to Do Hard Things

by Sarah Jennings

Twin brothers Brett and Alex Harris weren't on a mission to inspire their generation. They were bored 16-year-olds facing a long summer when their father, Gregg Harris, dropped a stack of classics onto the kitchen table and challenged them to better themselves. From that summer reading list sprung a blog, and from that blog exploded an international teen “rebelution” – the term they coined to describe a “rebellion against low expectations.”

While the brothers' blog encourages teens to “rebel” against cultural apathy by embracing personal responsibility, their message to "do hard things" exceeded even their expectations – taking them as far as Japan and as high as the Alabama Supreme Court where they interned at the wise age of 16. Now 19, their journey takes another exciting turn with the publication of their first book, Do Hard Things (Multnomah, 2008).

Read the whole interview with the Harris brothers by clicking here.

Manners Demonstrate Character

2008-10-15T05:21:00.000-07:00

taken from The Teaching Home Email Newsletter

by Inge Cannon

Each rule of etiquette reflects an attitude or character quality which reveals an individual’s values and personal beliefs.
The following thoughts should help in determining which rules of etiquette or “social graces,” as they are often called, are important to your family.
“Others May; You May Not.”
It is a simple reality that God sometimes places limits on His servants, especially for the development of their lives as leaders. Leaders live in goldfish bowls – everyone sees how and where they swim!
• Are you willing to set aside a personal habit or choice to help someone else grow in the Lord?
• Can you view this as a high calling from God rather than a straitjacket?
• Will you view the practice of details that sometimes feel needlessly “picky” as a means of demonstrating the character of Christ in your life?
Categories of Rules
It will be helpful to your children if you help them identify the category of each etiquette rule you are striving to learn and practice. Much irritation of spirit can come as a result of not understanding these.
1. Convictions or Moral Directives
These rules deal with issues that are right or wrong according to the Word of God. These may never be adjusted. Etiquette rules in this category involve propriety between men and women, honesty in communication, integrity in ethics, and fulfillment of promises.
2. Efficiency Directives
These rules are for the convenience of a group. This can be a family, work team, friendships, or any other unit of people.
Etiquette rules in this category deal with being punctual, organized, neat, etc., at work, in travel, during leisure activities, and with guests.
3. Deference or Consideration Directives
These rules deal with how others feel when I behave toward them in a given manner. These etiquette rules enable a person to practice the “golden rule” in avoiding offense.
4. Reputation Concerns
These rules deal with the appearance of things and the associations which things have. These rules involve setting minimum standards so that individual and organizational images are controlled.
As such, these are often the most difficult requirements of all, because people have so many opinions of what is best. Just remember that God’s Word teaches us to “avoid every appearance of evil” and to be moderate or balanced in good things.
Etiquette rules in this category involve “above-reproach” honesty with money and things, chaperons to communicate propriety and protection in relations with the opposite sex, and dependability in fulfilling responsibilities.
Dos and Don’ts
It would be ideal if an exhaustive list of dos and don’ts could be mastered. But life’s situations often involve judgment calls that seem to fall between the cracks of specified ideals.
Teach your children that it is a mark of maturity to evaluate the gray areas or questionable things by God’s direction with questions like these:
• Will this habit or activity build my life?
• Will it bind me in any way?
• Is it the best for me?
Rather than asking what is wrong with an action or activity, consider carefully what is right about it.
Spirit or Attitude
Every rule of etiquette for Christians should communicate the core message of what we believe and the Lord Whom we serve.
• The practice of chivalry or gentlemanly conduct – whether given by a man or received graciously by a woman – is really a testimony to what we believe about the distinction between men and women.
• The fact that we dress up for a worship service, wedding, or funeral allows us to show respect to the one being honored in each context.
• Simple table manners give us the opportunity to present ourselves in the manner that we would like to observe in others, for no one enjoys witnessing crude behavior during a meal.
Each of our actions demonstrates more than just our ability to learn rules and adopt habits. The practices themselves clearly demonstrate our philosophy of life, for the true test of what a person believes lies in actions rather than words.
Successful training always involves instruction, reinforcement, correction, and consistent example. There really are no shortcuts. Self-discipline is a lifelong exercise.

There are many other good ideas on manners at The Teaching Home. Also, make sure to sign up for their free email newsetter.

Spanking and Science

2008-10-10T14:26:00.000-07:00

Spare the Rod? America's Parents Just Won't Get With the Science

by Al Mohler

Christian parents have a special stake in this controversy, because the Bible speaks so directly to the use of corporal punishment and the necessity of disciplining disobedient children. Furthermore, Christian parents should feel a shiver go down the spine when the United Nations is invoked as the moral authority.

Professor Kazdin's article also reminds us of the limitations of science and the inadequacy of scientism as a worldview. There is no such authority as "the science," and the contradictory debris of now outdated scientific theories and "findings" should be sufficient and persuasive evidence of that fact.

Click here to read the whole article.

Teaching Manners to Your Sons

2008-10-10T08:46:00.000-07:00

from The National Fatherhood Initiative E-Newsletter

Instilling Good Manners

Having trouble getting your kids to say please and thank you? Read our good manners guide.

Teaching Your Toddler To Share

"MINE!" seems to be one of kids' favorite words. Read our simple tips that will help you guide your toddler towards sharing and positive play. Read our Sharing Strategies.

Some Thoughts on a Covenant Home

2008-10-09T07:23:00.000-07:00

Judges 2:10-13

"After that whole generation had been gathered to their fathers, another generation grew up, who knew neither the Lord nor what he had done for Israel. [11] Then the Israelites did evil in the eyes of the Lord and served the Baals. [12] They forsook the Lord, the God of their fathers, who had brought them out of Egypt. They followed and worshiped various gods of the peoples around them. They provoked the Lord to anger [13] because they forsook him and served Baal and the Ashtoreths."

1.) Just one generation after the children of Israel had moved into the Promised Land did they forsake God, break covenant with him, and chase after other gods. This first generation didn’t even know God or what he had done.

2.) Why? Because their parents broke covenant by not applying Deuteronomy 6:1-9.

3.) If we do not acculturate our children covenantally, our children will also run after the idols of our day.

4.) There is a logical “if-then” progression here. If children do not know the Lord and what he has done for them, then they will forsake him and chase after idols.

This isn’t rocket science. But it required more intentionality and commitment than rocket science.

Stand Firm,
Dale

Read to Your Sons

2008-10-08T07:51:00.000-07:00

R.M. Ballantyne wrote...

Boys [should be] inured from childhood to trifling risks and slight dangers of every possible description, such as tumbling into ponds and off of trees, etc., in order to strengthen their nervous system.... They ought to practice leaping off heights into deep water. They ought never to hesitate to cross a stream over a narrow unsafe plank for fear of a ducking. They ought never to decline to climb up a tree, to pull fruit merely because there is a possibility of their falling off and breaking their necks. I firmly believe that boys were intended to encounter all kinds of risks, in order to prepare them to meet and grapple with risks and dangers incident to man’s career with cool, cautious self-possession.... —R.M. Ballantyne, The Gorilla Hunters

Click here to learn more about R.M. Ballantyne and his great books for boys. Thanks Vision Forum.

An Attitude of Gratitude

2008-10-07T18:20:00.001-07:00

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever. (Psalm 107:1)

Gratitude ought to be one of our most important postures as Christians. Indeed it is a defining characteristic. It goes hand-in-hand with humility. We should remain grateful continually but our thankfulness ought to especially be evident when we contemplate all that we have so undeservedly received from our God and Father and his Son, Jesus Christ. Where, then, is there room for boasting?

I believe we must vigilantly teach our children the attitude of gratitude. As I learn more and more about the new generations, I keep running into the word...entitlement. It seems to keep popping up with greater emphasis in every description of the emerging generations.

For the Christian, there can be no such attitude. Entitlement flies in the face of grace. Grace by definition is voluntary. It is unmerited. And while we shouldn't be surprised by God's grace (because of who God is), we ought to indeed be amazed to our core. We must pass this on to our children. Gratitude is a legacy that glorifies God and edifies his children.

Below are some articles that are worth reading, contemplating, and teaching to your sons and daughters.

The Teaching Home has a great newsletter that is very helpful.
Thanksgiving Activities from The Teaching Home
Creative studies and ideas for Thanksgiving
Teaching Thankfulness, Part 1 from The Teaching Home
Teaching Thankfulness, Part 2 from The Teaching Home
Thanksgiving, Part 1 from The Teaching Home
Thanksgiving, Part 2 from The Teaching Home
This week's Homeschool Minute newsletter has several good articles on thankfulness and Thanksgiving.
The Thanksgiving Primer at Vision Forum
A few great posts by Doug Phillips on Thanksgiving: Here, here, here, and here
Recipe for a Thanks-giving by Noel Piper
Lots of good sermons on Thanksgiving and Gratitude by John Piper

Gratefully Yours,
Dale

Action Points for Fathers

2008-10-07T18:15:00.000-07:00

by Ken Canfield

Skim through the gospel of John and identify ten times where Jesus refers to "my Father."
Ask your child what he/she would like to do when he/she grows up and then set your own goals for how ot help her/him.
Ask your wife or someone else you knows you well to suggest one area in which your fathering could use improvement.
When you go to work after hours, arrange for your children to come along.
Seek out an older father and ask him about the greatest struggle he has faced in his fathering and how he has handled it.
Skip lunch one day a week and pray for your children.
Ask your child what he likes to do with you and set a date to do that together.
Find another man whom you can encourage in his fathering - and then do it.

From Ken Canfield's, They Call Me Dad: The Practical Art of Effective Fathering.

Christian Parents Are Not Comfortable With Media But Buy Them for Their Kids Anyway

2008-10-07T06:20:00.000-07:00

from The Barna Group

With the Christmas gift-buying season about to open with a vengeance, one of the most popular types of presents will be media-related gifts: CDs, DVDs, video games, and the like. A new Barna Group study shows that most Christian parents will purchase such presents for their children despite their misgivings about the content of those products. The result will be stress for many well-intentioned but morally uncertain parents, and inappropriate exposure for millions of morally vulnerable children.

Click here to read the whole report.

Family Reformation Journal - Winter 2007

2008-10-07T06:15:00.000-07:00

The Winter 2007 Family Reformation Journal is up...

Opening Thoughts
The Independent Woman Syndrome: A Testimony by Stacy McDonald
Family Worship: A Father’s Highest Duty by Phil Lancaster
A Great Opportunity for Young Ladies! The Proverbs 31 Project by J.A. Tony Tosti
Tempted to Despair by Janet Billson
Successful Christianity ‐ Just Add Water? by James McDonald

Click here to read.

Shaping Culture for Christ

2008-10-06T07:25:00.000-07:00

My wife and I have been educating our children at home for the last seven years. I think I could write a book detailing all of the reasons for this choice. That gives me an idea...

Anyway, one of our reasons is highlighted in this week's issue of WORLD Magazine (why haven't you subscribed yet to WORLD?). In the article, Gene Edward Veith contends that Christian parents can help turn the tide of the culture war by "giving [their] kids a better education than their secularist peers."

My wife and I pray daily that all of the blood, sweat, and tears that we are pouring into our children by educating them at home will lead to godly, well-educated, and world-changing adults. (By the way and for the record, it's my wife who is donating the vast majority of time, effort, blood, sweat, and tears.) We believe this is how we can best equip our children, as Christ's ambassadors, to truly live as salt and light in a dark and decaying world.

Click here to read Veith's very fine article (you may have to register for online use).

Jeff Myers also thinks a great deal about this topic. Here are a few questions he has suggested asking those who you are seeking to equip and encourage to take the baton from you and keep running the race.

Here's a list of things you can say to communicate blessing and cast a vision for those to whom you're passing the baton of godly faithfulness:

1. "I've made it a certain way up the ladder of life. My goal is to grab you, pull you up, and then push you beyond where I myself could go."

2. "Someday my life is going to be over and I want to do everything I can to make sure that you're on the track and ready to take the baton when it happens."

3. "I love you without condition. Nothing you do will stop me from loving you. But God has also called me to prepare you to advance His kingdom. Nothing you do will stop me from trying to do that either."

4. "I see enormous potential in your life and I want to walk with you to encourage you and challenge you to fulfill that potential."

5. "It is vital that you invest whatever talents you've been given. Don't be like the one talent servant who, out of fear and resentment, buried what he had been given" (Matthew 25).

Let's pray that we can help extend God's Kingdom into every sphere of life...for his glory and for our good.

Stand Firm,
Dale

Whatever Happened to Grown-Ups

2008-10-01T14:17:00.000-07:00

Every once-and-a-while someone says or writes something that really connects with you. Perhaps it's something you've been pondering for quite a long time, but just couldn't place your finger on the main issues involved...you just didn't know how to analyze it thoughtfully and comprehensively. But then someone comes along and nails it. They're much more articulate and they cover all the material points...far better than you ever could. For me this happens most any time I read Al Mohler.

I've been saying for some time that it seems that many people never quite leave middle school. They never shook off the bickering, hyper-sensitivity, pettiness, (general immaturity), etc., that you would expect when someone becomes an adult. This observation on my part also appears to be something beyond the usual fallout from our sinful nature. It seems more systemic to our day, age, and culture.

Enter Al Mohler. He's been writing over the last few years about our prolonged youth culture (and commenting on others who have also identified this phenomenon). And, of course, he discusses this issue far better than I could ever dream of. Not only does he see the countless ways this problem is playing out in our culture, but he also sees many of its consequences.

In a recent post entitled, Arrested Development and the Civilizational Crisis, he reviews the new book, The Death of the Grown-up, by Diana West. His opening paragraph grabs you right away...

This much is now clear -- Americans are taking a lot longer to grow up. As a matter of fact, this society has developed a period of extended adolescence that is completely without precedent in human history. (click here to read the whole article.)

I wholeheartedly encourage you to read what Mohler has written. He and West have identified an issue that is as obvious as the nose on your face...and is not going away. Personally, I think it explains some (not all) contemporary worship as well as some (not all) of the emergent church. Furthermore, it gives me, as a father, plenty to think and pray about...not to mention to act on.

And while you're thinking about such things, please read these articles that also deal with the same topic...

"Mommy, tell my professor he's not nice!" by Stiles Watson
Boomerang Nation -- What Happens When Kids Don't (or Won't) Grow Up? by Al Mohler
Can You Grow Up, But Not Be a Grown-up? by Al Mohler
Extended Male Adolescence -- The British Version by Al Mohler

Stand Firm,
Dale

Death of the Grown-up

2008-10-01T14:11:00.000-07:00

Tim Challies has a great review of, The Death of the Grown-up, by Diane West. I have posted on this subject before. However, I agree so much with Challies' review, that I had to provide an excerpt of his review...as well as a link to it (click here). Here's a snippet...

It is teenagers who are respected and teenagers who are envied. Adults now seek to recapture youth and to return to their teen years. They dress like teens, think like teens and increasingly act like teens. This intermediate period between childhood and adulthood, this recent development, is being continually extended. Some organizations today go so far as to suggest that adolescence continues until age thirty. Some go further and suggest thirty-four. Thus a thirty-three year old man or woman should not truly be considered an adult. Any other generation would laugh at the mere suggestion.

The whole review is spot on and well worth reading.

A Father's Resolutions

2008-10-01T14:07:00.001-07:00

from Doug Philips at Vision Forum...

Beall and I have just completed two weeks of intense planning, praying, and preparation for 2008. And it’s not over. January is not only a season of fresh beginnings, but it is the time we have dedicated as a family for strategic spiritual planning. My own father was the inspiration behind this annual practice. Dad would always remind me, “If you don't know where you are going, any train will get you there.” His point was this: Every great endeavor requires a clear mission directive.

And so it is with the family vision for a new year. Fathers must lead their households, and they must have a plan for how they will lead. Wise plans are built on the foundations of biblical resolves rooted in the timeless truths of Scripture. That is why I am especially grateful for the wisdom of the great American Puritan Cotton Mather. More than three hundred years ago he penned “A Father’s Resolutions.” The pearls Mather offers have been a source of immeasurable encouragement to me, and I want to share them with you today.

As you read Mather, consider: When 2008 comes to an end, how will you gauge your efforts as a father in shepherding your families? Did you begin the year with thoughtful strategic planning, with a real course of action including godly, attainable objectives, or did you just hop on the first train headed for anywhere? Wise fatherhood requires bold spiritual resolutions before the Lord, backed up by tangible action. May the Lord equip us to honor and serve Him as fathers!

— Doug Phillips

Click here to read the whole article.

Building Kids' Character in a Culture of Plenty

2008-10-01T14:01:00.000-07:00

by Barbara Curtis
Crosswalk.com Contributing Writer

Ever worry about building your kids’ character in a culture of plenty? Ever wonder if the deck is stacked against you when times aren’t tough enough?

I know I do.

Maybe it’s because I grew up poor myself and I know firsthand the powerful lessons poverty can teach. I’m grateful my husband and I are able to give our children so much I missed, but I’m also painfully aware how those advantages crowd out the character building that comes from never being able to take your school clothes, your medicine, or even your next meal for granted.

And it doesn’t help either that we live in a culture heavily skewed toward entertainment – much of it unhealthy – and based on a me-first! mentality.

That’s why since becoming believers some twenty years ago, my husband and I have worked extra hard to broaden our twelve children’s horizons, to counter the cultural blindness that comes with being too comfortable, and awaken in their hearts the idea that those who look like they have less may often have a little more.

Click here to read the whole article.

Pass It On - To Our Children and Our Children's Children

2008-09-30T11:59:00.001-07:00

Psalm 22:4-5, 30-31

In you our fathers put their trust; they trusted and you delivered them. They cried to you and were saved; in you they trusted and were not disappointed. …Posterity will serve him; future generations will be told about the Lord. They will proclaim his righteousness to a people yet unborn – for he has done it.

It has been said that the problem with living is that it’s so daily. The same could be said of parenting. Whether it’s getting your children to eat their vegetables, clean up their rooms, do their schoolwork, or have good manners, parenting is daily. Consistency and intentionality are absolutely required. And in no area of parenting is this truer than in passing on our faith – our beliefs, worldview, values, character, conduct, etc., to our children.

What we’re talking about here is spiritual reproduction.

The primary truism about spiritual reproduction is this: We can’t reproduce what we’re not ourselves. Cats aren’t going to reproduce dogs, no matter what. We reproduce what we are. Therefore, it’s absolutely imperative that moms and dads are daily, consistently, intentionally, and faithfully practicing the faith they profess…the faith they are seeking to instill in the hearts, minds, and souls of their children.

In a real sense, this is more than mere example. Faith really needs to be in the “DNA” of the parents. Having said that, example is vital because children will copy what is being modeled for them at home. It wasn’t dumb luck that my kids all turned out to be Georgia Bulldog fans.

But passing on our faith requires more than example. We are called to actively lead them, instruct them, tell them, pray with them, pray for them, admonish them, counsel them, and nurture them (love them!!!). The call to pass on our faith to our children in this manner (as well as to pray that it extends to our children’s children for a thousand generations) runs throughout Scripture. For example…

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 - Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. [5] Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. [6] These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. [7] Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. [8] Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. [9] Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

Psalm 78:1-7
O my people, hear my teaching;
listen to the words of my mouth.
[2] I will open my mouth in parables,
I will utter hidden things, things from of old--
[3] what we have heard and known,
what our fathers have told us.
[4] We will not hide them from their children;
we will tell the next generation
the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord,
his power, and the wonders he has done.
[5] He decreed statutes for Jacob
and established the law in Israel,
which he commanded our forefathers
to teach their children,
[6] so the next generation would know them,
even the children yet to be born,
and they in turn would tell their children.
[7] Then they would put their trust in God
and would not forget his deeds
but would keep his commands.

Ephesians 6:4 - Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

These are just three clear examples of Scripture’s overwhelming multigenerational vision for the extension of God’s kingdom. Many more could be cited. In truth, we’re talking about more than quoting a few texts. This multigenerational vision is a key thread that runs from Genesis to Revelation.

Early in Psalm 22, the psalmist declared that those who came before his generation put their trust in the Lord and were not disappointed. Later in the same Psalm he stated that future generations would also serve the Lord because they would be told about the Lord. If you really think about it, how else will Christianity be passed on? If the love, holiness, grace, works, and words of God are going to be known two hundred years from now, then we must pass them on.

But to whom? Some Christians talk about the need to evangelize and disciple the lost but forget about God’s covenant children under their own roof. If we think in terms of concentric circles, our next priority (or circle) after our own relationship with God (because, again, we can’t reproduce what we’re not ourselves) should be our own family. Our goal, of course, is that our children come to know, love and follow God and pass on that faith to their children and their children’s children for a thousand generations (Deut. 5:10, 7:9).

(By the way, it goes without saying that we are to make disciples of all nations, but this is a devotional about passing our faith on to our children.)

In a real sense, our children are not our own. They are God’s. We are stewards of God’s children. That means that we have been given the vital and joyful responsibility and blessing of raising these children to know, love and follow their heavenly Father. And while such an upbringing is so daily, we need to realize that we only get one chance. It’s my prayer that God will honor the prayers, blood, sweat, tears, effort, and love that we pour into our children (his children). To see them become the godly adults that we’ve been striving for will make it all worth it in the end.

Soli Deo Gloria,
Dale

Parents or Prisons

2008-09-30T11:54:00.000-07:00

Mohler has a good article on the influence of parents...

For a hauntingly large number of young Americans, prison has become a substitute for parents. Writing in Policy Review, Jennifer Roback Morse argued just a few years ago that this "apparent overstatement" is sustained by two realities. As she explains:

First, without parents -- two of them, married to each other, working together as a team -- a child is more likely to end up in the criminal justice system at some point in his life. Without parents, prison becomes a greater probability in the child's life. Second, if a child finds himself in the criminal justice system, either in his youth or adulthood, the prison will perform the parental function of supervising and controlling that person's behavior.

Click here to read the whole article.

Also by Mohler - Are We Teaching Our Children to Lie?

Teach Your Children Well

2008-09-30T11:49:00.000-07:00

It's Up to Parents to Teach Children God's Word
by Voddie Baucham (at Family Life.com)

Imagine your boss came into your office and said, “Congratulations, you have just been promoted.” What if that promotion meant stepping into a job for which you felt inadequate and/or unprepared? How would you respond? Would you say, “Thank you, sir, but I am not up to the task”? Or would you say, “Thank you, sir, I’ll do my best”? I think most of us would welcome the challenge and rise to the occasion.

As parents, that’s exactly what God said to us when He gave us children. He said, “Congratulations, you’ve just been promoted to the position of parent.” That means that everything God requires of parents is part of your new job description. At this point you have two choices. You can either say, “Thank You, God, but You must have taken momentary leave of Your senses. There’s no way I can train my children in the Word.” Or you can say, “Thank You, God. I know You don’t make mistakes, and if You gave me this child, You will also give me everything I need to bring her up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

I wish I could say that my response was the latter. However, I must admit that I was terrified. I was a twenty-one-year-old college junior who had been married for ten months. I remember looking at one of my professors and asking, “What am I going to do?” He looked back at me and said, “You are going to do the same thing fathers have been doing for thousands of years.” Suddenly it dawned on me—I wasn’t the first man to become a father while he was in college. I could handle this. I wasn’t sure how, but I knew that with God’s help I could handle this.

My professor’s words of encouragement have echoed in my mind for the past fifteen years. I am still trying to navigate my role as a husband and father, but I am sure that God has given me what I need to accomplish the task to which I have been called.

Click here to read the whole article.

Praying for Your Children

2008-09-30T11:45:00.001-07:00

Daily Prayers for Your Children
by Randy Popineau (at Family Life.com)

Editor's Note: Like many American parents today, Randy Popineau spends hours in the car, ensuring that his three children make it safely to school, church, and recreational activities. Longing to invest that time, he began praying through the commute. In time, this pastor and FamilyLife supporter created a long list, praying indepth for each child each day on one subject. He offered that list to FamilyLife, and we have included a sampling of his topics below. Consider creating a prayer list for your children—for those moments when you can concentrate on them as the wonderful gifts from God that they are. Pray that your children might...
Seek godly wisdom (Proverbs 2:2, 5-6)
Establish a craving for God's Word (Deuteronomy 6:6-9)
Understand that sin has consequences (Numbers 32:23)
Be obedient to authority (Colossians 3:20)
Live under God's hedge of protection (Job 1:10)
Recognize God's voice (John 10:27)
Be not swayed by temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13)
Nurture a spirit of peace and not of complaining (Philippians 2:14)
Develop a sensitivity to the Holy Spirit's conviction (John 16:8)
Develop a lasting love for siblings (Psalm 133:1)
Enjoy peaceful sleep (Proverbs 3:24)

Pray that God might...
Continue the good work that He has begun in your children (Philippians 1:6)
Protect them for a godly spouse (2 Corinthians 6:14)
Allow discipline to shape godly character (Hebrews 12:11)

Discipling Your Children

2008-09-30T11:00:00.000-07:00

taken from The Old Schoolhouse

Discipling our children shouldn't be compartmentalized and separate from the rest of our life. It's more than just reading a devotional together or taking them to church. As researcher George Barna says, "A biblical worldview must be both taught and caught - that is, it has to be explained and modeled."

Have you ever tried to learn something like quilting just by reading a book? When I first decided that I wanted to learn how to quilt, I went to the library, checked out a stack of books, and then promptly realized that I was going to need someone to help me in person. Even if someone could explain something to me over the phone, I'd say, "Can you just show me?" I needed someone standing right there with me who knew what she was doing -- someone I could watch as she worked step-by-step, someone who could see when I was making a mistake and help me correct it, and someone who really was excited about what I was learning.

It's that way with homeschooling and discipling our children. Our children need us to show them what it looks like to be a Christian step-by-step, day-by-day. They need to see how we make choices about how we spend our time. They need to see us putting others before ourselves. They need to see us praying with and ministering to others. They need to see us seeking the LORD in all that we do.

Don't worry that you don't have ALL the answers or that you still struggle at times. God uses imperfect people every day. Through our struggles we can grow and learn, and continue to point our children back towards The One Who Is Perfect and Does Have All The Answers!

Is There A TV in Your Child's Bedroom?

2008-09-30T08:29:00.000-07:00

by Al Mohler

As Tara Parker-Pope concludes, "So while many parents try to limit how much television and what type of shows their children watch, that may be less than half the battle. Where a child watches is important too.

"Television, like all other forms of mass media, represents great potential for good and great potential for evil. Add to this the fact that a great deal of what television brings us is marked more by banality than anything else. Human eyes are attracted to those moving pictures and the noise of television, but the brain is inadequately stimulated.

For Christian parents, a proper concern must move from the more generalized effects of television as a communications medium to the content of the communication -- the message and the medium. Television is a soul-contaminator, training young souls to want the wrong consumer goods, value the wrong moral goods, laugh at the wrong places, and emulate vacuous and immoral celebrities.

Click here to read the whole article.

Protecting Your Son From Aggressive Girls

2008-09-30T06:01:00.001-07:00

by Dennis Rainey at Family Life Today

One of my primary responsibilities as the father of four daughters was to help protect them from losing their innocence, especially as they approached the adolescent years. As part of this effort, I met and talked with nearly every young man who wanted to go out with my girls. I asked specific questions and challenged these young men to a high standard of purity.

These experiences led to my book, Interviewing Your Daughter's Date, which was published last year. I received a lot of positive feedback from appreciative dads, but I also got something that I didn't expect. Quite a few parents contacted me to say, "I really appreciate the helpful advice for raising daughters, but we really need something to help our sons deal with aggressive girls in this sexually-saturated culture."

Click here to read the whole article.

ht - Crosswalk.com

Knighthood and Biblical Manhood

2008-09-30T05:53:00.001-07:00

taken from Leadership University

by Lou Whitworth

In this essay we will be looking at an inspiring book, Raising a Modern-Day Knight, in an effort to learn how we can motivate our sons to live lives of honor and nobility. This book, written by Robert Lewis, grew out his own experiences as he and some close friends struggled to lead their sons into balanced, biblical masculinity.

C. S. Lewis wrote that the disparate strands of manhood-- fierceness and gentleness--can find healthy synthesis in the person of the knight and in the code of chivalry. Here these competing impulses--normally found in different individuals--find their union.

Click here to read the whole article.

Young Men's Film Pack

2008-09-29T14:20:00.001-07:00

This coming Winter (January to be exact), I'm going to begin a very long journey of teaching fathers (and, probably, mostly learning from them) on how to raise sons. We'll eventually cover those of us who also have daughters, but I think we have much to learn about how to raise boys in this day and age so that we can help them become the godly men that God desires them to be.

As a father of four, I have occasionally paid attention to what has worked and not worked with my own children and have actually learned a couple of things along the way. But I have also been reading everything I can get my hands on by "the experts" about raising children (and sons in particular). I have also been looking for great curricula and study material that will aid us in this pursuit. There are some really fine resources available that I'll be sharing in the days ahead. But, I hope it goes without saying, that the greatest material is what we learn in God's Word as his Spirit leads, instructs, and encourages us.

One of the ministries that has some interesting resources is Fra nklin Sp rings Family Media. While they don't produce curricula, per se, they have a wealth of materials that can serve as a tremendous inspiration to families of all shapes and sizes. Here is the link to their "Young Men Film Pack," which looks fantastic. You can watch the trailers to this film pack below.

Pursuing God's Blessings for A Thousand Generations,
Dale

John Wesley on ...

2008-09-29T14:17:00.001-07:00

Family Religion

"May we not endeavor, Secondly, to instruct them? to take care that every person who is under our roof have all such knowledge as is necessary to salvation?...and you should take care that they have some time every day for reading, meditation, and prayer; and you should inquire whether they do actually employ that time in the exercises for which it is allowed. Neither should any day pass without family prayer, seriously and solemnly peformed."

Sermon 94, On Family Religion Volume 7

If you feel bold, you can read all of Wesley's sermon on "Family Religion" by clicking here.

The Family Table

2008-09-29T14:13:00.001-07:00

a reprint of an earlier post

The Family Table & Taking a TV Fast...Again
by Pastor Dale

This summer the Tedder household is unplugging...quite literally. Suzanne and I have decided to unplug the television sets in our home and go without the number one competition of our family's togetherness...the TV. We have experimented a couple of times before with this idea (with varied amounts of success). I have described it here. And while we're on the subject, here's a very useful article about how the TV competes with a family's time together.

Of course, the TV isn't the only culprit stealing a family's time together. A family in America today has 100 things each day that compete for that precious time. That's why I believe it's vital to carve out and protect "Sabbath times" for the family throughout the week. And you can hardly do better than meal times...be they breakfast, lunch, or dinner. (By the way, that's meal times together as a family...around one table...without the TV on...without incoming phone calls interrupting every two minutes.)

There's something powerful that happens when a family sits down to enjoy the fellowship of a meal together. Whether it is catching up on the day, having family worship, or just laughing together, the family table is a special place.

On that note, I have found three very helpful articles that speak to this issue of "the family table." I hope they will serve to encourage you and your family to take time together in this wonderful way.

Blessings,
Pastor Dale

Start a Revolution--Eat Dinner With Your Family by Al Mohler
The Family That Eats Together . . . Talks to Each Other by Al Mohler
Whatever Happened to Dinner Time in America? by Doug Phillips

Here are a few interesting articles on fasting from the TV...

10 Ideas: What to do when you're not watching TV by Rob Flood
No TV...For a Year? How a sacrificial "anniversary gift" revolutionized one home by Scott Williams
Television Babysitter by Carrie Ward
The Great Escape by Bob DeMoss

40 Ways for Fathers to Make a Difference

2008-09-29T14:06:00.001-07:00

by Michael Farris at Crosswalk.com

Michael Farris's lists are always helpful, fun (and convicting) to read. Here's a great one for dads. I need to quickly add that just because this list appears on my blog should in no way lead one to believe that I'm batting 1,000.

Here's a snippet...

During the holidays, dads often have a little more time to do things with their children. This is a time of year when moms definitely can use an extra hand. Few things will mean more to your wife, or help her as much, as spending extra time in beneficial activities with your children.

I often am asked to give practical suggestions to fathers. Usually, I have approached these requests in an organized fashioned that presents principles, ideas, and methods. However, a lot of really important things that all dads--including home-schooling dads--can and should do with and for their children are not subject to this kind of systematic thinking. Here are my "Top 40 Practical Ideas for Fathers" for your consideration:
Read your little children a story.
Do flash card drills to hone your children's memorization of math facts.
Do a science experiment with your children using Jane Hoffman's Backyard Science materials if other resources are not
available.
Give your children their spelling tests.
Read your bigger children the Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis.

Click here to read the rest of the list.

Disappearing Fathers

2008-09-29T13:57:00.000-07:00

from the Wall Street Journal...

The Tragedy of America's Disappearing Fathers
By Juan Williams

an excerpt...

Walter Dean Myers, a best-selling author of books for teenagers, sometimes visits juvenile detention centers in his home state of New Jersey to hold writing workshops and listen for stories about the lives of young Americans.

One day, in a juvenile facility near his home in Jersey City, a 15-year-old black boy pulled him aside for a whispered question: Why did he write in "Somewhere in the Darkness" about a boy not meeting his father because the father was in jail? Mr. Myers, a 70-year-old black man, did not answer. He waited. And sure enough, the boy, eyes down, mumbled that he had yet to meet his own father, who was in jail.

As we celebrate Father's Day tomorrow, we should reflect upon a sad fact: It is now common to meet young people in our big city schools, foster-care homes and juvenile centers who do not know their dads. Most of those children have come face-to-face with their father at some point; but most have little regular contact with the man, or have any faith that he loves or cares about them.

Click here to read the whole article.

But hope remains...

Fatherhood and the Future of Civilization
by Al Mohler

Will the world soon experience a return of patriarchy? That is the question raised by Phillip Longman in the March/April 2006 issue of Foreign Policy. The magazine's cover features a rather stunning headline: "Why Men Rule--and Conservatives Will Inherit the Earth." That headline would be surprising in almost any contemporary periodical, but it is especially significant that this article should appear in the pages of Foreign Policy, published by the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace. The publication of this article set a good many heads to spinning.

Phillip Longman is Bernard L Schwartz Senior Fellow at the New America Foundation. He is a well-respected author and researcher, whose books have included The Empty Cradle: How Falling Birthrates Threaten World Prosperity and What to Do about It (2004). In his previous works, Longman has projected how falling birthrates throughout advanced societies will lead to financial, political, social, and demographic decline.

Click here to read the whole article.

The Good, The Bad, & The Filter

2008-09-29T06:53:00.000-07:00

Seven ways to help screen culture's impurities from your children's minds

By Clem Boyd at at MomSense

By the time a child graduates from high school, she's watched 22,000 hours of TV. That includes 16,000 televised homicides and 640,000 commercials, according to J. Kerby Anderson, national director of Probe Ministries. Add to that thousands of hours of music, Internet, video games, and telephone usage. That's a lot of information streaming into our kids' minds, and most of it is at odds with our Christian values.

Because of this, many parents resort to blocking channels, prohibiting certain music, and installing Internet filters, which all work well. But unless you can figure out a way to shield your kids from all forms of media and outside influence, sooner or later your child will come face to face with the questionable messages this world has to offer.

If you really want to get through the maelstrom of information swirling in your kid's head, start talking about yourself, especially moral failures.

Believe it or not, this isn't a new problem. Paul was talking about this way back in Romans 12:2 when he wrote, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

He recommended Roman Christians use the same thing that can help screen impurities from your children's minds: a moral filter. This is a set of beliefs firmly implanted in your mind that helps you evaluate behavior, beliefs, and ideas and respond to these in a way that brings honor to God.

So how can we help our children develop minds that think in moral ways? Here are seven suggestions:

Click here to read the whole article.

Children's happiness must not be the driving force of the home

2008-09-29T06:44:00.000-07:00

by Reb Bradley at Family Ministries

Yes, we love our children and want them to be happy, but an over-preoccupation with “happy” children is helping to bring down our culture. Our homes, our schools, and our communities have become child-centered – we pander to their desire for fun and gratification, wanting them kept happy at any cost. This has resulted in our children’s will-to-be-gratified thriving into adulthood, and has created a culture of teens and adults with an over-exalted sense of their own importance. With the priority everyone has given their gratification, they have developed the perspective that the world revolves around them.

Do not misconstrue what I am saying – I want children to be happy. Nothing uplifts me more than seeing a joyful child laugh and smile, particularly my own. What I am saying is that we must not live to gratify our children’s desires and make our leadership decisions based on their responses. In my years of traveling the country presenting parenting seminars, the happiest children I’ve seen are always those who are secure under their parents’ loving authority. They obey the first time they are spoken to, and know they will be rewarded with the trust of their parents when they obey or reap a disciplinary consequence if they disobey. They are happy, because they find safety within the boundaries established and enforced by their parents. They are at peace because they do not have to carry the load of helping their parents run the home. Needless to say, homes with secure and peaceful children have far less strife and sibling rivalry – they are happier places to be. None of this should be a surprise – our children are just like us – stress is minimized when we believe someone else is shouldering responsibility.

Click here to read Bradley's whole message entitled, Raising Good Citizens.

Superdad or Superdud: Which One Are You?

2008-09-29T06:35:00.001-07:00

taken from New Man eMagazine

By Alexander Marestaing

They’re faster than a speeding infant, more powerful than a toddler tantrum, and able to manage the moodiest of teenagers. They’re superdads and they’re now playing at an American home near you. With names like The Dominator, The Invisible Man and The Defender they seem like a heroic bunch, but look closely and you’ll find that some of these “superdads” are really “superduds.”

Take a look at each of these fathers, and decide which one is worthy of the title “Superdad.” And ask yourself if you recognize your fathering style in any one of these models.

Are you... The Dominator, The Invisible Man, The Defender, Buddy Boy, or The Servant?

Click here to find out what fathering style(s) describes you.